One of three singles from Bare, “Wonderful” sometimes seems like two songs in one – a slow-paced, nearly acoustic track and a rousing rocker. The emotions come out when Annie breaks into the chorus singing, “God, it makes me so blue, every time I think about you, all of the heat of my desire, smoking like some crazy fire.” By the end, she’s demanding, “Come on here, look at me where I stand … Do you want me? Do you not? Does it feel cold? Does it feel hot?” Damn! One wonders what the appropriate answer should be.

“God, it makes me feel so blue
Every time I think about you
All of the heat of my desire
Smokin’ like some crazy fire
C’mon here, look at me where I stand
Can’t you see my heart burnin’ in my hand?
Do you want me? Do you not?
Does it feel cold, baby does it feel hot?”

Vulnerable.

For our #18, I decided I am gonna get really personal for my write up, because I think all of us have an Annie song, or songs, that resonate, not just musically, lyrically, emotionally, but also because of the timing of their release, and our own connections to these tracks at the time we first hear them. I have received permission from my ‘wonderful’ husband and partner of 19 years to get all down and dirty with you all.

Adonis (my spouse) and I met when we were in our 20s, back then, we both lived, snd I mean lived, the NYC scene… clubbing, partying, drinking, drugging, fashion, dancing, etc. etc. I was living in Brooklyn (Park Slope, underground trendy at the time), and he was living in the East Village, probably the most artsy and raw part of Manhattan back then. We met at an afterhours party at his place, after a night of getting totally fucked up at the same bar, snd I joined in the group heading back to his pad…like I implied, back when I partied, I partied. So did he. It drew us together that night. What was going to be yet another one night stand for me in the Big Apple, turned out to be a lifelong connection. My self esteem at the time was not good, it never really is, and being that he was a model and musician, I woke up the next day, we exchanged the obligatory phone numbers, and I thought I just scored majorly…thanks to the alcohol. He was, I thought, so far out of my league…so sober up, and get ready for the next adventure, right? …but, something inside me said, ‘call him, ask him out on a date,’ and my roomate, Anne, in Brooklyn at the time encouraged me to go out of my comfort zone. So I did, and to my surprise, he did not hang up kn me, but actually accepted! In fact, he too was surprised as he had never been asked on a proper date up to that point! Wow. One thing led to another and we were a couple, in the euphoric honeymoon phase of a new, young relationship. Never apart. Always together. Soon, as they do, the bad emotions start to want out of the faux perfection of the honeymoon phase, as they do…you know, yin/yang… jealousy, negativity, annoyances and closterphopia set in. And one day, it just broke. This was right as ‘Bare’ was announced, but not yet released.

Slowly, very slowly, after a fairly long break, Adonis and I started communicating again, as friends only. We mutually agreed to hangout once or twice a week, never staying overnight, and reconnected in healthy ways… we enjoyed talking, walking, dinners out, and music. A BBC radio special was to air with Annie, and a preview of some of the ‘Bare’ songs, and an interview. Adonis, being the mad musician and digital expert he is, was able to set up his radio to record this program for me. “Wonderful” debuted. Secretly, we both listened to that song each night after we parted ways, and to this day, both of of find extreme pain and a resounding joy, when “Wonderful” plays…as you know from the beginning of my long ass story, Adonis and I got back together, as adults, and have committed to share a life together. This does not eradicate, nor should it, the intense feelings that we share in “Wonderful.” All of life, and I think relationships, have necessary hurtful and down moments. It helps us learn a lot about ourselves, and not lose our individuality within a unit we have purposely created. Don’t want to need each other, but its where we’re at, and that, my friends is so surreal.

– Dan Mueller

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